Why did I even start my own Substack? Really, Bianca, may time?!
“Give yourself even more permission to fail.”
I sat down with comedian and podcaster Baus Rufo on my latest episode of Paano Ba ‘To: The Podcast. We talked about millennial career problems, and one of the Supers (the name I collectively call us in the Paano Ba ‘To community) asked this question:
“In the middle of my career, I realized I am neither comfortable nor effective nor comfortable in the field I chose. And now I want to reset and restart on a different career path. Paano ba ‘to?”
Baus answered, “Do it! It’s as simple as that. Do it! Do it, but also, give yourself even more permission to fail. Because if you are going to take on something new, the learning curve will probably be longer.” “And tougher,” I added.
I knew this episode would resonate with a lot of listeners and viewers, but this particular topic about pivoting careers or changing lanes struck a chord with so many of you. I got so many DMs and comments sharing their own struggles and stories of being in the same situation right now, and that Baus’ words what exactly what they needed to hear.
A friend of mine who had been in working in the academe for two decades just recently resigned and has been feeling anxious about entering a whole new industry—design—at this stage in her life. She messaged me about how she and her husband are dealing with all this: “So much emotions and check-ins and all the drama but we are riding this wave of change together.”
A follower from the US messaged me about a big shift in the restaurant she works in. Most of her team had been laid off their jobs, and she was retained as manager. She opened up about how painful the shift has been, and that on top of that, she was given more responsibilities to take on. “I’m unsure if I can deliver the same result and have the same passion, but after seeing this episode, kakayanin ko. I will give myself permission to fail and learn to pivot.”
If you’re like them, and dealing with some sort of big change in your career life, I guess the reason I’m sharing this is to tell you that you’re not alone. It sucks, I can imagine. There’s honestly so many SUCKY things happening in the country and the world now that it’s hard to tell which sucks the most. But knowing you’re not alone, I hope that helps lighten the load.
To end his advice, Baus shared:
“There’s this term called anti-fragility. Parang basically, you still fail forward. Acknowledge that okay, this is a failure, but it’s still a forward momentum.”
“So much effort and for what?”
Right after I published my first post on Substack, my friend messaged me. “I used to love sharing my random musings and thoughts in a blog or video… and now, it feels like so much effort and for what?”
Ngl, I had to take a pause when she messaged me. WHAT FOR nga naman? What IS the point?
A few years back, I was stuck in a creative rut during the thick of the pandemic and was desperately searching for podcasts that might spark something in me. I unfortunately cannot remember what podcast it was (but I’m pretty sure they were two Aussie girl friends who worked in the advertising industry—if this rings a bell and you might know what pod this is, please let me know) and they had one bit of advice that stuck with me since.
“When was the last time you created something just for nothing?”
I had to click pause the podcast to think about my answer.
When WAS the last time I worked on creating any output that wasn’t for work or a deadline, that wasn’t for my kids, that wasn’t to sell or monetize, that wasn’t a deliverable to someone else? I couldn’t even remember. When you enter the workforce, especially in the creative industry, most of the things you do are related or connected to work or money. When you’re a mom and you do arts and crafts with your kids on a lazy Sunday afternoon, yes, I’m doing it for me but I’m also doing it to spend time with them and to elicit some sort of reaction from them. I could not remember the last time I created something because WALA LANG.
I’ve been wanting to start writing again for the love of writing and sharing my thoughts but I’ve always been putting it off. “Walang time.” We all say that about things we wanna do.
Which is why exactly a week ago, I just jumped right in and started typing.
And right now, I find myself writing for myself again. Two issues done, more to go. It feels good to create something just for nothing.
“Don’t be afraid to suck at trying something.”
This is another quote I found while randomly scrolling on Instagram. The psychologist who wrote about it said, similarly to the point I shared earlier, that the past decade or more, we’ve been conditioned to turn everything we’re interested in or skilled at into some sort of side hustle. And social media has given us this impression that most of us who try something new out are already either a natural at it, or they make it look good and make it look like so much fun.
But the reality is, when we try something new, a lot of times we’re going to suck at it. And that’s perfectly normal, and perfectly okay.
We’re not meant to be good at things right away, we’re meant to learn along the way.
From trying out my daughter’s skateboard while watching YouTube beginner tutorials to try and help her learn (I fell off the board and on my ass), to being asked to sing a song while doing a cup stacking challenge for this video to promote our new season of Pinoy Big Brother (I can’t sing to save my life but did it anyway!), I actually enjoyed the experience of not being good at something. For me, the insight is: (a) Is this something I wanna keep trying to learn, or (b) nah, this really isn’t for me.
And maybe that’s the point of it all. That we should keep trying new things, different things, to figure out what we want to be, do, and give more of our time to.
I felt that very first paragraph! I still ask myself that question after twenty years of blogging (that blog is still alive alongside my Substacks, by the way)… and I suppose, if it’s your passion, it will seep through no matter what.
I feel seen. Thank you from someone who always felt is/was stuck in a rut.